Among the many wonderful gifts I received for Christmas this year was a book mark that says: 'Keep Calm and Pray'. It comes from the famous quote: Keep Calm and Carry On, which was a poster produced by the British Government in 1939 during the beginning of the Second World War, intended to raise the morale of the British public in the event of invasion.
'Keep Calm and Pray' was a very timely message as I was nervously getting ready for the Christmas hockey tournament in Calgary. Mike had decided a while ago that he would sit this one out and enjoy the time at home with Erin and Nathan. Even though Erin was going to be home from UBC and my mom and sister said they would come by with meals etc and Nathan said he would be coming everyday, I was so nervous to leave Mike.
Mike and I have systems; we have developed routines. I know what he needs without him necessarily having to say, plus he feels comfortable asking me to do certain things for him that he might not feel comfortable asking someone else to do. Needing his pants pulled up a bit, he says, "Give the right side of my pants a yank, would ya?" When Mike gets up to go to the washroom in the night, I am ready to put the covers back on him when he returns, and place his pillows back where he likes them - one he holds in his arms and one between his knees and I fluff the one he lays his head on.
Although I enjoyed the most wonderful Christmas ever, I was a bit of a nervous wreck the week leading up to Boxing Day - yesterday, the day Madison and I left for Calgary. But then I opened up that book mark with those words "Keep Calm and Pray". I felt it was a message just for me. Even though I had been praying, I needed to stay calm and trust that Mike would be okay.
I love the city of Calgary in the winter. It's white, it's peaceful and it's calm. Calm...just like me now. We still have four more nights to go, but I'm confident all will be well with Mike, especially after the message he sent me last night. This is the message he sent me:
calendar of events today;
1) went to swiss chalet with nathan and erin
2)found a dime in shoppers drug mart
3)got a back massage from erin while watching judge judy
A GOOD DAY INDEED
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
My friend Audrey gave me a book a little while ago called The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha. The description on the back cover says: The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things in life are free. Based on the award-winning blog 1000awesomethings.com, it’s a high five for humanity and a big celebration of life’s little moments. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the things that make us smile. Sometimes it’s tempting to feel that the world is falling apart, but awesome things are all around us: Popping bubble wrap, the smell of rain on a hot sidewalk, hitting a bunch of green lights in a row…
Here is one that I particularly like: "That one square in the waffle that’s the most loaded with butter and syrup – Oh, you know the one. It’s full to the brim with a melty smear of butter and drenched in a puddle of thick syrup. Good move saving it for last. AWESOME!"
Merriam-Webster defines awesome as: Inspiring awe, terrific, extraordinary. I don’t know if I would go as far as to say that melty butter in a puddle of syrup inspires awe or is extraordinary, but perhaps it’s pretty terrific.
Here are a few of my own “Awesomes” from the past week:
When you come home and find a package of baking on your doorstep. Or open your mail and find a gift certificate or a few bucks tucked inside a Christmas card…and other gifts. The generosity and thoughtfulness of others… AWESOME!
When your best friend from Vernon calls to tell you that the Christmas gifts she dropped off the last time she was in town was only part of the present. Four hours of house cleaning service is the other part…AWESOME!
When your 10 year old nephew tells his mom something very wise and wonderful when she is helping him put his socks on because he broke his finger in a soccer match… “This must be how Uncle Mike feels (not being about to put his socks on). I pray for him every day, but this experience makes me want to pray for him more.” AWESOME!
When you go Christmas shopping and everyone you make a purchase from says “Merry Christmas”, not “Happy Holidays”, or “Season’s Greetings.” AWESOME!
When you open the Province newspaper and see your husband has submitted a letter to the editor. Smart, articulate, short and to the point. He may be different on the outside, but just the same…even wittier and wiser, on the inside. AWESOME!
Fresh fallen snow on the Golden Ears mountains on a sunny winter’s day…still takes my breath away. AWESOME!
The scene in Charlie Brown’s Christmas where Charlie Brown finds himself depressed at Christmas time, searching for the true meaning of the holiday amidst the glitz and commercialism of the modern age. He finds his answer in the passage below:
"And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were so afraid ... And the angel said unto them, "Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ, the Lord."
"And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth peace, and good will toward men."
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." - Linus Van Pelt - AWESOME!
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Once upon a time, the Government had a vast scrapyard in the middle of the desert. A thought occurred to them that someone might steal from it at night, so they decided to hire a night watchman. Then they thought, ‘how does the night watchman know how to do his job without instruction?’ So they created a planning committee, one person to write the instructions and one person to do time studies. Then they thought, ‘how do we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?’ So they hired a quality control department and hired 2 people; one to do the studies and one to write the reports. They then realized these employees needed to be paid so they created a timekeeper and a payroll officer. But then they thought, ‘who will be accountable for all these people?’ So they created an administrative section with an administrative officer, an assistant administrative officer, and a legal secretary. After a year of having this command service, they realized they were$18,000 over budget, and decided they needed to make cutbacks. So they fired the night watchman. Government bureaucracies represent 48% of our Gross Domestic Product, and have been under increasing pressure to be more cost efficient. They are perceived to be less efficient than their private sector counterparts because they are not profit orientated and have exceptional job guarantee packages. Stories of people being on hold for extended times, red tape and run-arounds are common. The biggest complaint from citizens is all the paperwork that these bureaucracies force you to fill out in order to obtain simple services such as a passport, licence or title transfers. It’s almost as though the bureaucrats have taken a course on making the paperwork so long and arduous so that they alone are able to comprehend it. A good example is the following statistic on the amount of words used: Pythagorean theorem—24 words, The Lord’s prayer—28 words, Archimedes principal—67 words, The ten commandments—167 words, Gettysburg address—286, declaration of independence—1300 words, Constitution of United States with all 27 amendments—7818 words, U.S. regulations on the sale of cabbage—26,911 words.
I recently had a run in with the bureaucratic system. I was sent forms to fill out for long term disability. I filled out all relevant sections, leaving the ‘return to work’ section that is reserved more for people who say have a sore back and will likely have a future return date. The ‘bureaucrat’ called me and said I forgot to fill out the above section. I explained that this section was not relevant to my situation. End of conversation. A few days later, I get a call from my union stating they wanted to release me because I didn’t fill out the paperwork (a clever ploy to get rid of me to avoid paying my premiums as I’m a liability at this time). No problem, I said to myself, I’ll fill out the paperwork and send it in: SECTION 1: Expected date of return: ‘TOMORROW’. SECTION 2: alternative jobs you could do if unable to do current job: MOVIE CRITIC. Section 3: list dependants: THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. Section 4: Check this box if you are blind (this one wasn’t on there, but it wouldn’t have surprised me!). The only requirement was FILLING IT OUT and they got what they wanted. It’s too bad if they can’t take a joke.
Monday, 12 December 2011
‘Worry’ should be a four letter word…it is so nasty. I am not normally much of a worrier, but I must admit, lately worry has become an annoying pest…more like a monster that just won’t leave me alone. I wake up and there it is. I get up and it follows me to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and its staring me in the face. All day long, day after day…following me, taunting me, nagging me…
Worry, defined by Webster is: a troubled state of mind, anxiety, uneasiness distress. It’s horrible! Worry steals your joy, it messes with your peace, it ties up your stomach, it dictates your thoughts, it interferes with your sleep…it’s an enemy to the human race!
John 14:27 says; Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Sometimes that is easier said than done. So, how do you prevent your heart from being troubled and afraid? I’m pretty sure you have to draw nearer to the Lord and put all your trust in Him. Oswald Chambers says: You don’t know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to “go out” in every area of your life trusting in God entirely…Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him. Then think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is! Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to “go out” in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Him.
We were in Regina this past week for a hockey tournament. We started our journey home last night at about 5pm (3pm our time) and after a number of delays, we made our connection in Calgary. Because it was a very long day and a very busy and exciting trip, Mike wasn’t in his finest form at 11:30pm when we finally landed in Calgary. He stiffened up and was unable to walk from gate 40 (where we landed) to gate 43 (where we had to catch the next flight). The West Jet people noticed Mike struggling and called for some transportation. When we got to gate 43, another kind West Jet employee had a wheel chair ready for Mike to make the journey to the plane a little easier. We were the last to board and because the front seats were empty, we were told to take those seats if we didn’t want to go to our seats in row 19. We sat down in the front row and right away Mike commented on the extra leg room and all I could think about was my new seat next to the window. I am not crazy about flying and for that reason, I always ask for an aisle seat, plus I get up to go to the washroom a lot. I think to myself I can probably hold it for the short jaunt from Calgary to Abbotsford, but what about this window. I closed the shade and tried to distract myself by watching TV, pausing to say a little prayer and picture God holding the plane up in the sky with His hand. Mike fell asleep about ten minutes into the flight and about a half hour in, I became a little curious and lifted the shade on the window. When I lifted the shade, I lost my breath. The snow-capped Rocky Mountains were brilliant. The million stars in the sky were captivating and the slightly less than full moon was stunning. I thought to myself how my worry and fear almost kept me from experiencing this amazing view. Feeling foolish and somewhat convicted, I had a few words with the Creator of it all. I had to apologize as He reminded me that even though I am so small, he is big! And he holds us up with His hand.
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
My dear husband is hanging on to his independence tooth and nail. He reminded me the other day that he can still do the banking. I wanted to help him, but he insisted I wait for him in the car. I respected his wishes and watched him through the window slowly make his way into the bank. After some time, I was just about ready to go in to see if he needed any help, but then he came out...with a smile on his face that said, “Banking accomplished.”
When I see him struggle with something, I jump in to help, only to hear him say, “I can do it.” There are certain things he graciously allows me to do for him now, simply because his 'half handicap' limits him. For instance, it’s difficult for him to take off his sweaty socks after a bike ride, so I peel them off (yuck…I'm talking soaked), but I don’t mind…same with the sweaty t-shirts. Sometimes I help him on with his pants, sweat shirts and his jacket. I am constantly asking if he needs a snack, a drink, a sweater, a massage. I ask if he is too warm, too cold, tired, hungry etc. I’m sure I bug him sometimes, but I can’t stand the thought of him not being comfortable and not asking for help if he needs it.
I know it bothers him that he can’t help bring in the groceries or change the 18L water jug on the water cooler any more. He used to like washing the kitchen floor, knowing I loved to come home to see it glisten. The things most people complain about, like washing dishes, Mike misses being able to do. He would give anything to do a load of laundry, or change a light bulb, or clip his finger nails, but those things are things of the past. Mike is a fighter though, and he will fight to maintain the little independence he has left…and the one liners are still coming on strong.
I continue to watch Mike in amazement; his bravery, his humility, his patience and his determination. Sometimes, I just stare at him. I examine the toll ALS has taken on his body, but his face is the same to me: the variety of wonderful expressions, the warmth of his smile and the sparkle in his eyes.
There is something else that hasn’t change as well; his amazing attitude! Still not one complaint…not one!
Saturday, 3 December 2011
I received an email from my friend Celeste a couple of weeks ago. She wanted to remind me that she is praying for us and that if we needed any help, she would like me to call on her for anything. She ended her email with Proverbs 17:17, which says: A friend is always loyal, and a brother (sister) is born to help in time of need.
Shortly after I read Celeste’s email, our friend Adele showed up at our house with some homemade soup, chicken curry and a beautiful fall arrangement from her garden. A few days before that, our friend Michelle came and gave us a massage chair and two containers of homemade soup. A card came in the mail the other day for Mike from a woman we know from a church we attended years ago. She put a $20 cheque inside and said she hoped it would help. Not long before that it was a $200 cheque from an aunt.
Since Mike’s diagnosis, friends and family have blessed us with cards, gifts, books, fruit baskets, flowers, food (homemade pie), messages of encouragement and more…parents, siblings, friends and people we don’t even know. Shortly after Mike’s diagnosis, my sister, Elanna came over and gave me $40 from a friend of hers. The friend told her to tell us we were on her mind and she wanted to help. What can we say? We are humbled and thankful.
In the summer, our friends Audrey and Karen hosted a BBQ in our honour. They invited the local hockey community and some other friends. Everyone brought food, there were games for the kids and beautiful gift baskets that Adele put together and raffled off. We received cards of encouragement and donations that went to Mike’s ‘half handicap’ fund. Two of the young hockey players made bracelets and a sign that said ‘Bracelets by Donation for ALS’. I chose one that said ‘hope’.
A few days before the BBQ, a friend and fellow hockey mom, Shonia pulled me aside after hockey practice and told me that every year, she and her husband, Steve donate some money from their family business toward the teams their daughter’s play on (hockey and soccer)…a type of sponsorship. She said that this year, instead of giving it to the team, they took the money and paid Madison’s first instalment for the season. I thanked her, and told her it wasn’t necessary because family had already given us money for the whole season and she said, “Well, it’s paid for.”
Mike and I have always believed that the Lord would provide for us…and He always has. But being very capable and hardworking, Mike who worked as a nurse and had two good jobs for a long time, would just pick up another shift if we had extra expenses. As of March 7th, there have been no extra shifts, there haven’t been any shifts at all, so we have had to put our money where our mouth is and really trust the Lord….and He continues to supply faithfully.
We would like to thank our friends and family and those we don’t even know who have come along side us and have helped us. A special thanks to our parents who have blessed us beyond measure. We appreciate their support and enduring love. We have been able to lean on them and we draw strength and courage knowing they are right there…they’ve got our backs.
God bless you all!
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
They say it takes a village to raise a child, I’m thinking it takes a village to support a guy with ALS.
Alan from 'Jim’s Mowing' came over yesterday to put up our Christmas lights. I wondered if Alan and his young assistant, Trevor knew I was feeling a little blue, and decided to come by to cheer me up. They had no idea, but that’s what happened when these two men showed up with a really tall ladder to hang our lights.
A few weeks ago, I opened the front door and a man was on the porch just about to put an envelope in our mail box. He said hello and told me his name was Alan and handed me the envelope. He said he was from ‘Jim’s Mowing’ and that he saw the article about us (called Sands of Time) in the Maple Ridge News. He said he and his colleagues wanted to offer their services free of charge…raking, mowing, weeding, gutter cleaning etc. I took the envelope and thanked him. I was at a loss for words and got a little choked up. I didn’t even shake his hand…I just kind of stood there in awe. Alan said he was impressed with our courage and genuinely wanted to help.
My mom was over at the time, so I opened the letter and read it out loud. The letter said that he, (Alan) and a number of his colleagues in their organization read our story. He said that our fortitude and courage is a lesson to them all and they agreed a letter should be sent asking if there was anything they could do to help us. The letter stated that they had decided last year to try and support the ALS society and those who are coping with ALS because one of their own guys is in a similar situation. Alan’s letter stressed that they would all really like to help in any way, regarding jobs to be done around the yard. He said they were not seeking publicity, recognition or any gain, but just sincerely and honestly wanted to help. He said they very much hoped to hear from us. My mom and I both with tears in our eyes said “Wow!” in unison.
I emailed Alan a few days later and thanked him very much for his thoughtfulness and generosity. I told him that perhaps in the spring time, he could do some yard work for us. He quickly responded and said, “Do you need your Christmas lights hung? How about your gutters cleaned?” What a guy…what a great guy!
Alan is an answer to prayer. As Mike and I pray every day that the Lord will provide for our needs, He supplies faithfully!
Sunday, 27 November 2011
Saying good bye is so hard. I’m watching the final scene of the movie, Marley and Me, where John, played by Owen Wilson is saying good bye to his beloved best friend Marley, a very old and very beautiful golden lab. I’ve seen the movie before and know that the ending is horribly sad, but I continue to watch it anyway, breaking my rule of NO SAD MOVIES! Watching the final scene in the movie reminds me of a scene in my own life where I had to say good bye to my beloved friend Isla (pronounced like Island).
Isla was Madison's dog. Madison asked me every day since the day she could talk if she could get a dog, and 3650 days later, I said yes. So off to the dog pound we went to find the dog of Madison's dreams, which she thought was a black lab. We went to a dog shelter in Aldergrove and saw seven black labs, but none of them fit the bill. I said to the lady at the shelter, "Look, we aren’t going home without a dog!" She sent us to another shelter in the area and there we fell in love with Isla, a German Shepherd Husky cross with one blue eye and one brown eye. Isla was already seven years old, but a puppy at heart. She fit right in with the family and was so grateful to be wanted.
Even though Isla developed terrible arthritis, she would chase a ball for hours. She was obedient and loyal and she was beautiful on the inside and outside…like most dogs. She grew old gracefully and toward the end, we dreaded the inevitable. I prayed that we wouldn't have to put her down; that she would go peacefully at home…the way we all want to go. I was, however, not going to dig my heels in. If she was suffering, I would do what had to be done. I always said as long as she eats and wags her tail, she isn't going anywhere.
A few days after Isla stopped eating and wagging her tail, I suggested to Mike we take her in and have her put down. He insisted we give her the weekend to improve and if there were no improvements, we would take her. On Tuesday morning, Mike woke me up and said that Isla had taken a turn for the worse and he would come home from work at lunch and we would do what we dreaded doing. I got up and hurried out to the back yard where Isla was trying to get comfortable. I watched her take her last few steps and collapse on the dewy grass. I went and got a blanket and my Bible. I covered her with the blanket and sat down beside her. I opened my Bible to Psalm 1 and read out loud. The verses brought me comfort and the sound of my voice brought her comfort. The sun was shining and the birds were singing and my back yard became a little like heaven as Isla found her way to a better place. Just before she took her last breath, I read Psalm 46:10&11, which says: Be still and know that I am God…the Lord Almighty is with us; He is our fortress.
My friend Hilary who works at a Veterinary hospital came with a co-worker and picked Isla up and as they drove off, I blew Isla one last kiss.
Today, our friend Celeste and her pretty five year old came by say hi and give a gift and a beautiful card. On the front of the card, it says: To everything there is a season. Ecclesiastes 3:1&2 says: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die… On that cool October morning two years ago, Isla's season of living came to an end.
Isla lived life to the fullest and seemed thankful for everyday…a valuable lesson we can all learn from man's best friend/a girl's best friend.
Isla...a girl's best friend!
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Well, the verdict is in. Exercise is good for you. Those who have the get-up-and-go live longer, healthier lives than those couch potatoes who sit around doing nothing. Sitting around has repercussions for every part of the body. It appears the only thing that sat its way to success is a hen. Now I’m not saying that idle couch potatoes are not important to society. After all, its lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn’t want to walk or carry things. With the onset of my illness, I knew it was time to get off the couch and get more active in order to stave off the symptoms. My only question was, ‘what mode of exercise would I choose’.
I joined a health club last year, spent $300 bucks and didn’t improve my fitness level one bit. Apparently you have to show up. Recently, I tried aerobics; once. When I came home from the class I told my wife I had to quit because I broke a toe. She said, ‘how is it now?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, you’ll have to ask the lady whose foot I stepped on.’ I then tried jogging. The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back. Cycling was the ideal fit for me. Cycling is low impact on the joints and it offers you a chance to enjoy a scenic view while getting healthy. I had a rough start to my fitness program, as my illness made it difficult to negotiate turns and my reflexes were suspect. The photos below show the results of the two spills I had on my bike. But like they say, I got back on that bucking bronco and continued. In fair weather, the dikes are an ideal milieu for biking as the scenery is second to none. With the onset of winter we purchased a stationary bike which I now ride an average of 10 miles a day on. I believe exercise makes me feel better than any of the medication I am on, and therefore will continue doing it until my legs will not permit it.
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Mike’s brother Gary was in town recently. He lives in Toronto and frequently comes to Vancouver on business. It is a great opportunity for us to see him. Mike and Gary are eight years apart…Gary being the big brother. Because of the eight years and three sisters that separate them, Gary and Mike weren’t necessarily that close growing up. But they did share a closeness that Mike often speaks about; they shared a bed room. Mike tells me that being the younger brother he had an earlier bed time than Gary. He would have to go to bed alone and was afraid of the dark. He says he would lay frozen in his bed, scared of the monsters in the closet and was so relieved when it was time for his big brother to crawl into the bunk below him. Gary played the Beatle’s Abby Road record and Mike says he would fall asleep listening to what is still his favourite album. Mike’s big brother offered something that was invaluable to him: comfort, security and protection…and some great tunes to help him drift off to sleep.
I always wanted a big brother. I have a big sister and as a child, I dreamt of having a big brother as well. When my sister married her husband Peter twelve and a half years ago, my dream came true. I got the big brother I always wanted…and it was well worth the wait.
Peter would do anything for me…just like a big brother. Mike isn’t much of a ‘handy man’, so Peter is my ‘go to’ guy. If I need something assembled, I call Peter. If I need shelving hung, I call Peter. Computer problem, leaky faucet, new light fixture…I call Peter. He has put down flooring, put up a wall and helped paint the outside of our house. He has shown up with his lawn mower, weed eater and that big saw like thing to trim our high hedge. Peter is kind and thoughtful and he looks out for me and my family…just like a big brother.
Mike was lucky to have a big brother growing up and lucky to acquire three more over the years when his sisters got married. Like the big brother I acquired, his would do anything for him too. Big brother (in law) Mike is a fairly quiet person, with a huge heart. Do anything for you at the drop of a hat kind of guy. I talked to big brother (in law) Ross on the phone the other day and just in the few minutes we talked he said something that revealed his compassion and thoughtfulness. And then there is big brother (in law) Gary. Mike and Gary have been great friends since they were teenagers. Their relationship reminds me of a verse in Proverbs that says: There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother… Gary is that kind of friend. He’d give you the shirt off his back!
(It can get confusing because out of five guys, there are two Garys and two Mikes and brother-in-laws Mike and Gary are brothers too)
On Gary’s most recent business trip (back to Mike’s brother, not brother in law), our son, Nathan, Mike and I picked him up at his hotel and went to a Greek restaurant close by. Mike had been to the Greek restaurant before and said it had good food at good prices. He knew it was in the area, but not exactly sure where. We headed in the direction he thought it was, and sure enough, we drove right to it. Gary thought that was pretty good and said that he had a terrible sense of direction. After we were seated, Gary told us a story to give us a better idea of just how bad he was with directions. He said that once while on holidays in the United States with his family, he and his three children ventured out in the RV. When it was time for them to make their way back to where they were staying, Gary got lost. He said he approached an intersection and when he looked down the street to the right, he saw a fire truck, so he turned to follow the truck thinking it was probably going in the direction of the town. When he heard the marching band behind him, he quickly realised he had joined a procession of floats, antique cars and clowns…he had drove right into a parade. In time with the beat of the drums behind him, Gary started waving and his three teenagers hit the floor. I don’t really do the story justice. When Gary told it, it was so funny…we were killing ourselves laughing.
The parade story reminded me of something I once heard; something that has stuck with me for years, but I can’t remember who said it. Anyway, it goes like this: our lives are like a parade. As we look on, we can only see one float go by at a time. But God, who looks down from above, can see the whole parade…the beginning and the end at the same time. We don’t know what tomorrow holds, but He does and that brings me a lot of comfort and peace.
Note to our big brothers: Thanks for everything! You are all nice guys and great men!
Nathan, Mike's brother Gary and Mike
Mike and brother in law Gary making a toast
Monday, 21 November 2011
Ida from the Healing Room (see blog post Man of Steel) told Mike to look for signs that the Lord is near; to look for signs of His love. I believe there are signs all around us of God’s love, such as oxygen, water, food, shelter etc., but Ida was challenging Mike to look beyond the ordinary…to look for the extra ordinary signs. Mike has a strong faith and he isn’t the type of person who needs signs. He is already convinced of God’s love, plus faith is about not seeing and still believing. Anyway, I knew what Ida meant. She meant that Mike should look for personal signs…extra ordinary signs for an extra ordinary time in Mike’s life.
The other night when it was time to go to Madison’s hockey game, Madison headed out to the van with her equipment and Mike followed behind her. I told them I’d be right there, I just needed to grab a few things and turn out some lights. I was just heading out the door, and Mike was there on the front porch. He had come back to the house to ask me to get the camera. I knew right away that there had to be something extra ordinary for Mike to be calling for the camera. I asked him what it was. I asked if it was a racoon, because racoons can be vicious and we probably shouldn’t be getting up close to take a picture of a racoon. Mike shushed me and said, “Just get the camera.” So I grabbed the camera and followed him outside. We went out to the drive way and he said, “Up there.” He looked up at the owl sitting on a wire right over our drive way. Madison was like a statue. She said in a soft voice, “He’s been staring at me the whole time.” I couldn’t believe it was an owl. I have never seen an owl before, outside of a zoo, that is. It was a very large owl, and it's eyes were in the back of his head, keeping a close watch on all of us. Owls, of course, don’t have eyes in the back of their heads, but they can turn their heads 270 degrees. I took a few pictures, but I was unable to capture this magnificent animal because it was so dark. I do have a magnificent image of it in my mind though, and I can’t stop thinking about that owl.
I’ve been talking about this owl a lot and Mike keeps saying, “Why do you give a HOOT?” I wondered if it was one of the signs Ida was talking about, but I was stumped…what kind of sign was this owl? Maybe it wasn’t so much a sign as it was a reminder. Maybe the Lord sent the owl to remind us that He has eyes in the back of His head. Well, not that He has eyes in the back of His head, but that He never loses sight of us.
Like never before, we find comfort in the fact that He never loses sight of us. This weekend on a road trip with Madison’s hockey team, while we were about an hour from our destination of Prince George, Mike took his pills. I could tell there was a problem when he took the last one. It seemed like he was having trouble swallowing it. I was just talking to him not long ago about how we need to cut up or crush his pills and I should have implemented that plan right away. Mike was indeed having trouble swallowing the pill. He kept taking sips of water and looked like he was growing more and more concerned. He was breathing, so I remained calm and kept handing him the bottle of water and asking if he was okay. After a few minutes, I knew he wasn’t okay. He struggled for quite a while and panicked a couple of times. Thankfully, one of the other hockey moms stepped in to help us. We were so relieved when Mike finally chucked most of it up, but small pieces remained for a few hours. Later, he said it was the worst thing he has ever experienced. It was one of the worst things I have experienced as well. It was so hard to see Mike in that situation and I couldn’t help but wonder, with some fear and anxiety, what is yet to come.
As I anticipate what’s ahead, I find so much comfort in knowing God never loses sight of us. We are not doing this on our own…He always sees us…He is always with us and I am not that afraid. Meanwhile, I guess all my going on about owls has left Mike thinking about them too...I can hear him on the couch singing; “OWL be home for Christmas…”
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
My dad showed up yesterday morning just as Mike and I were getting into the van to leave to go see Erin. He said he had called, but no one answered. I did hear the phone ring a little earlier, but my hands were tied and when Mike said my parents called, I thought I’d just call them back later from my cell phone. My dad, a man on a mission, took a chance that we were home and drove over anyway. He knew we were going to Erin’s (he must of read my blog post from the day before) and wanted to give us a little cash to pass on to her for groceries or whatever. He also wanted the receipt for the new stationary bike we bought for Mike. He said they wanted to buy Mike a bike, but we beat them to the punch, so they insist on reimbursing us.
My mom and dad are missionaries. Whether they are off feeding orphans in Africa, helping out in churches in Rio De Janeiro, visiting the sick in Ridge Meadows Hospital or driving a recently widowed friend to Port Alberni, B.C., they are always on a Mission. My parents have their own charitable organization, called Amazon Evangelism. Project Wellness, a division of Amazon Evangelism focuses on caring for the needs of orphans in Africa – food, water, education, medicine etc. Recent articles in two local newspapers featured my dad and his latest trip to Malawi, Africa (my dad has done the last few trips solo). The Maple Ridge News, calling their article; Maple Ridge Charity Builds Better Life in Malawi, informed its readers that Project Wellness drilled its twentieth well in Malawi last month. Twenty wells provide 20,000 people with clean water, which changes those 20,000 lives forever. The article also mentioned the schools built and the land bought for farming. It also informed its readers that all monies raised go directly to the missionary work and the needs of others. There are no paid staff members. All workers involved are volunteers, including my mom and dad. The only payment my dad has received lately for his missionary work, came from a couple of extremely grateful Malawian women; two chickens and a bowl of rice flour.
When my dad returned home from his last trip a few weeks ago, he and my mom came out to the rink to watch Madison play hockey. Because I am the team's safety person, I am on the bench with the team during games, so in between periods during the ice clean, I went over to say hi and hear how his trip went…I wanted details. He said the trip went well and without much further ado, he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. I recognized right away that it was a page from the book he reads every day called My Daily Bread. He said he pulled out the page for me because he knew I'd appreciate it. I read it and he was right. When I got home, I put it between the pages of my own daily bread, My Upmost for His Highest. I've pulled it out a few times to read it's comforting words. The writer, David McCasland calls the piece, He Guards Me Well and includes a beautiful paraphrase of Psalm 23: "The Lord my Shepherd guards me well, and all my wants are fed: Amid green pastures made to lie, beside still waters led. My careworn soul grows strong and whole when God’s true path I tread. Though I should walk in darkest ways, through valleys like the grave, no evil shall I ever fear; your presence makes me brave. On my behalf Your rod and staff assure me You will save." McCasland goes on to say; "No matter what you're facing today, Jesus knows your name, He knows the danger, and He will not leave your side. You can say with confidence: The Lord my Shepherd guards me well."
At the rink that day, I wanted to hear about the newly drilled wells, the beautiful orphan children, the travel experiences, the adventure, the dangers etc. That would all come in time, but my dad, a man on a mission, wanted to quickly bring the focus back to the Shepherd and remind me that whatever our circumstances, He guards us well!
Monday, 14 November 2011
I’m guessing we will never really adjust to Mike’s illness. There isn’t enough time to adjust. When we almost get used to one change, other changes happen. Day to day, the changes are pretty subtle, but over time, they become quite significant. For instance, Mike was running six minute miles in April and now he is just thankful he can walk…even if it’s at a snail’s pace.
Just over a month ago, Mike got a brace for his right hand. It’s a brace he wears at night to prevent his hand from curling up into a tight fist while he sleeps. Mike calls the brace the ‘claw’. While I put the claw on Mike before bed I usually have a little pep talk with his fingers. As I struggle to lay them out straight, I tell them that even though they are very stubborn, we still love them. I kiss them good night so they know they are loved and perhaps a kiss will make them all better…it always works with my granddaughter, Leah.
Today we were getting ready for our ride on the dike, but because it was so cold and because it was later in the afternoon, we decided just to go down the road to Merkley Park. I bundled up and then helped Mike put his gloves on…not an easy task. It took a while to get each finger in the right hole and hold them straight enough to pull each one through. I talked to the fingers one at a time as I tried to push each of them in their proper places. “You are a little rebellious; you just need to straighten out a little.” I said to one. “Come on, you can do it.” I said to another. I really had to be firm with the middle finger. “Give me that finger.” I said to Mike. He said, “I’m not giving you the finger.” I think Mike was enjoying the entertainment.
Mike’s ability to cope with the changes continues to amaze me every day. He never complains; he rarely gets frustrated; he just rolls with the punches. I think the changes have been easier for him to take than the rest of us.
Our daughter Erin messaged me last night. She said she was really missing her dad. She said she was worried about him and hates being away from him. This morning she emailed me and said “I am feeling better now. I had a good cry last night... and this morning... and likely I'll be getting one in at lunch as well. I wish I could hold myself together. I read an article on the bus this morning about assisted suicide and an ALS woman trying to make it legal and I broke down in tears. Luckily there was a homeless man sitting beside me who gave me a shoulder to cry on…well I guess not literally but he did offer me some of his bottles.”
Mike and I are going out to UBC tomorrow to see Erin. She can’t wait to see her dad and I know when she does, she will be encouraged. He has a way of making all of us feel better. I think while we are out, I will shop for some mitts for Mike.
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Mike was exceptionally slow on Thursday; his movements and his speech. He said he was very jittery and his muscles were really stiff. I could tell he was struggling more than usual. At one point we were getting ready to go for a bike ride and Mike said he needed to go lie down. I joined him and we read together and I gave him a neck massage. After a little while, Mike said he was ready to go for a bike ride, but he didn’t want to go all the way to the dike today, he told me he would just go down the street to Merkley Park (the dirt track at the high school). Instead of riding my bike with Mike, I walked over with Molly our dog. When Molly and I got to the park, Mike was well into his ride. Molly and I walked across the running track toward the dirt track and I could see Mike in the distance. At first glance I thought Mike had been healed, he looked like the Mike I’ve always known. He didn’t look like a sick person. He was moving so fast. There were no jitters, no stiffness, no limitations. He looked like he was floating on air and as we got closer I could see a grin from ear to ear.
I threw the ball for Molly in the middle of the grass field and watched Mike ride through the leaves and under the beautiful coloured trees. After about 10 laps, he pulled over and joined us. I told him he didn’t look like a guy with ALS. He smiled and told me to watch him as he walked around me. He said he felt much better and showed off his smoother gait.
Mike told me he thinks that as you approach the pearly gates, you first walk through some bushes and the bushes catch all the things that hinder you…all the illness and disease and other stuff. He said, “You walk through the bushes and then POOF, you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.” I knew what he meant, but still I said, “Arnold Schwarzenegger? He hasn’t had much positive publicity lately.” He said, “Not Arnold Schwarzenegger, but someone like him...someone svelte. I said, “You mean like a new man?” He said, “Yes!” He hopped back on his bike and said he was going to do a few more laps and he rode off into the sun. Molly and I headed home and Mike came a little while behind us. He did seven more laps (10K all together) and ‘poof’ he was a new man.
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
On Monday night, Mike and I went to the Healing Room at the Maple Ridge Community Church. The Healing Room isn’t so much about a room; it’s more about a group of people who pray. They come together once a week to pray for the needs of anyone who walks through the door. We have been to the Healing Room once before…actually twice, but the first time we went in August, they were closed. So we just prayed together outside on the steps of the church.
Ida, who prayed for us last time greeted us at the door and asked us to have a seat. While we waited to go into a room where we would receive prayer, Ida chatted with us. Ida asked Mike how he was doing. He said, “About the same.” She said she was hoping to hear he was doing better. He said to her, “Well, the same is better than worse.” She smiled and agreed. She asked him if he was hoping for a miracle. He said, “Not necessarily, I just want God to be there with me every step of the way.” She again smiled with her very lovely smile and gave a confident look that said, “He is with you and He will never leave you.” She looked at me and asked me if I was hoping for a miracle. I said “Absolutely!” We talked for a few more minutes and then were asked to join the prayer team waiting for us in the next room.
Mike and I went in and sat down. I knew three out of the four women on the prayer team. I got up and gave my friend Jennie a big hug, I was so glad to see her. I know Jennie and her husband Brian from the prayer meetings I used to attend at the municipal hall. The room we gathered in was small with subdued lighting. The ladies apologized because the room was so cold. They explained that they were unable to operate the thermostat. I told them it was fine because Mike is a really warm person. I knew Mike would appreciate the cool air. One of the ladies put a chair in the middle of the room and asked Mike to have a seat. They asked if it was okay for them to lay their hands on him while they prayed. With one of Jennie’s hands on my shoulder and all other hands laid on Mike, including mine, they took turns praying, and with passion, compassion and power, they prayed up a storm. One of the women stood right in front of Mike and took his hands in hers and prayed for his hands. She grabbed hold of his arm and legs and prayed for his limbs. She placed her hands on his chest and head and prayed for his mind and body. She called him a ‘man of steel’, which I thought was very fitting because Superman is called a ‘man of steel’ and Mike is like Superman…a super hero in my eyes. At one point Mike became teary eyed. I explained to the ladies that Mike isn’t sad. I told them that a symptom or ALS is heightened emotions. When they were finished praying, one of the women turned to me and said, “You are very strong.” If you want to make me cry, talk about how strong I am. She said it again and told me that God knows how strong I am. Then she quoted a verse that has been on my mind a lot lately, ‘When I am weak, He is strong’. She told me to remember that when I can’t be strong, the Lord will be my strength. Before we left, they broke out into song. They sounded like a chorus of angels as they sang to Mike, “Oh how He loves you, Oh how He loves you, Oh how He loves you and me.”
When we left, Mike told me that he didn’t get choked up because he was upset about the disease; instead he was moved by the kindness of the women and the presence of God. On the drive home, he told me that he hopes that God heal him just so those nice ladies would be encouraged and for the sake of all the other people that want if for him so bad. He said he didn’t know if he wanted it bad enough. He said he didn’t feel like it was a life or death situation. He is looking more and more forward to the life beyond those pearly gates.
Valour is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul – Michel de Montaigne
Monday, 7 November 2011
The night before last, after Madison’s hockey game, we stopped at Wendy’s/Tim Hortons for a hot chocolate and a frosty. While we were enjoying our snacks, Mike said to us, “See that guy over there?” Being discreet, he tilted his head toward a very large man sitting with a very large woman on the Wendy’s side of the restaurant. My first thought was ‘do you think we’re hard of seeing?’ The guy was huge. He had to weigh at least 350, maybe 400lbs. Mike said, “That guy’s healthier than me.” If it was possible to choke on a frosty, I would have.
Before I could get all upset about the comment Mike made, he had us laughing. He said he was jealous of the fat guy and he said perhaps he could talk him into trading bodies. Mike told us he was going to go over and ask the guy if he was interested in making the trade and then he practiced what he was going to say to make a deal. Mike said that if the guy asked about his arm twitching, he would tell him he was just a little nervous about coming over to talk to him. When the guy asked about his slurred speech, Mike would say he had had a few drinks. And when the guy asked why he stumbled when he walked, Mike would tell him he twisted his ankle earlier that day. Mike even had us convinced that the guy would be getting a screaming deal. Madison suggested he could just go on the Biggest Loser to lose all the weight.
Mike has spent his life taking good care of his body. An avid runner, ball hockey, and soccer player, he has always loved being physically active. Mike has also paid attention to good nutrition; he has never been a smoker, or drug user and not a big drinker. Statistically, Mike should live a long and healthy life, but of course there is no guarantee. I’m sure if he was asked, he would say he wouldn’t have done anything differently and he would say he is thankful for the life he has been given…whether long or cut short.
Our good friend, Karen starts her chemo therapy treatments today. Karen was diagnosed with breast cancer this past July. She had a mastectomy in September and today she will get her first dose of chemo. Karen is tough as nails, but is particularly worried about losing her nails, one of the many side effects of the paticular chemo therapy she's receiving. Mike and I have been praying that she won't lose her nails.
Like Mike, Karen has always taken good care of herself. She has always been physically active. She loves running, walking, hiking and cycling. She has participated in many of my fitness classes, challenging me to keep her challenged…a very tall order. Last summer she did the Grouse Grind about 20 times. Like Mike, Karen has been diligent to prevent illness and disease, but unfortunately, as I mentioned before, there are no guarantees. Like Mike she has kept her great sense of humour, she is super positive, she is thankful for everyday and she is living life to the fullest. Like Mike, she is going to fight like a world class champion, but at the same time, she isn't afraid of dying. If anyone can beat it, she can and we'll be watching and praying.
Friday, 4 November 2011
We have a sign hanging on a wall in our house that says; Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life. I was thinking the other day how important it is in our society to live a long life. Perhaps there is more emphasis on living a long life than living a happy life. Wikipedia says; happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. According to Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary, here is the definition of happiness: a state of well-being and contentment.
A while ago, Mike and I read a book called The Healing Code. One of the exercises in the book is to rate how you feel about a particular situation on a scale of one to ten and then use words to describe the feelings associated to that situation and then pray about those feelings. The idea is to change the way you feel about something stressful to reduce the stress in your life and help your body heal. When Mike and I first started the exercise, I would ask Mike to use words to describe how he felt about his illness. He used words like: anxious, worried, scared, sad and helpless. Over time the words he used were: a little anxious, a little bit sad, a little bit worried and a little bit scared. On July 13, I recorded in my journal the only word Mike used to describe how he felt about his illness, and that word was ‘content’. I think it’s interesting that even though, Mike wouldn’t and didn’t use the word ‘happy’ to describe how he felt about his illness, he used the word ‘content’ which is a word used in the definition of happiness.
The apostle Paul says in Phil 4:12-13; “For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances may be…I am ready for anything through the strength of the One who lives within me.” The NIV bible puts it this way; “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”
Mike wasn’t and still isn’t surrendering to ALS, he is trying to live the best life he can in spite of it. He has always been a happy person…content in every situation and ALS can’t take that away from him.
Our daughter Erin recently had a picture on her Facebook page that said, What ALS Can’t Do: It cannot shatter hope. It cannot destroy peace. It cannot corrode faith. It cannot suppress memories. It cannot conquer the spirit. It cannot silence courage. It cannot invade the soul.
This morning when we woke up, I observed Mike as he struggled to get out of bed. Once he finally sat up, he slowly stood up and made his way to the bathroom. I thought how amazing it is that even though Mike’s life is changing drastically, in ways that would perhaps fill most of us with fear, he is content…he is happy. It really puts things in perspective for me and I am convicted and humbled once again.
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Today, Mike and I dropped everything and prayed together. Prayer is normally a part of our everyday lives, but being exceptionally busy over the last couple of weeks, we haven’t had a decent prayer time together in a while. Mike prayed first and he moved me deeply as he spoke slowly and thoughtfully. His words were slurred, but sounded beautiful to me and I am sure, exceptionally beautiful to the Lord. After giving thanks, he prayed for things in the order he usually does: our children, our parents, our siblings and their families, some friends, and the orphans in Africa. Somewhere in there, he prayed for me…that my ‘burdens would be light’. He kept yawning (yawning is a symptom of the illness) and at one point apologized to God for yawning so much. I could sense the Lord sitting right beside him appreciating Mike as he laid his burdens down on His big lap. He talked with ease and eloquence, the words slowly rolling off his tongue...so comfortable, so content, so lovingly.
Oswald Chambers says: "We look upon prayer simply as a means of getting things for ourselves, but the biblical purpose of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself. Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems – the very things that have brought you to your wits end. But as long as you think you are self-sufficient, you don’t need to ask God for anything."
Mike didn’t pray that much differently than any other day, but today I was moved to tears as I listened. He wasn’t out to get anything from the One who could give him everything. He was simply being himself in the presence of the Lord.
Oswald Chambers continues: "To say 'prayer changes things' is not as close to the truth as saying, 'prayer changes me and I change things'. God has established things so that prayer, on the basis of redemption, changes the way a person looks at things. Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of the working miracles in a person’s inner nature."
Monday, 31 October 2011
They say Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the guys she could have married and she didn’t have to hear about how good a cook his mother was. Rodney Dangerfield’s marriage was far from ideal, as he was married to an unfaithful, untrusting woman who in Dangerfield’s cliché quote, ‘gave him no respect’. One day, Dangerfield came home and caught his wife in the arms of another man. He shouted to her, “What do you think you’re doing?” She turned to her lover and said, “See, I told you he was stupid.” Another time Dangerfield said, “I met my wife at the front door one day, she was wearing only a sheer negligée. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.” Dangerfield’s wife was not only unfaithful, she also didn’t trust him. One day Dangerfield came home with a red smudge on his forehead. His wife shouted at him, “LIPSTICK!” Dangerfield stated, “No, I was in a terrible accident and I smashed my forehead into the steering wheel.” She said, “Lucky for you!” In the 1950’s, Hollywood instilled the standards of the perfect marriage with Ozzie and Harriet, June and Ward Cleaver. In the 1970’s, Hollywood realized that these characters were unrealistic and did a 360 with such role models as Archie and Edith, Dan and Roseanne.
The perfect marriage doesn’t have to follow or avoid any of these marriages. No marriage is going to be perfect as we are all individuals with different outlooks on the world. We can’t expect our mate to line up exactly the way we think in every situation and therefore there will be conflicts now and again. We can look to the Bible in 1Corinthians to give us a guide to being a good mate. (Replacing the word ‘love’ with ‘mate’) “Love (mate) is patient, love is kind. It is not self-seeking, not easily angered, it always protects, trusts and hopes.”
I look at my marriage where the incursion of my illness has brought to the forefront the marriage adage, ‘in sickness and in health’. With the going getting tough, Nadine, my mate, has got going. My illness has made it difficult for me do regular activities of daily living that I once enjoyed. I have difficulty putting on my socks and without asking, Nadine is there to give me a hand. When riding our bikes on the dike, she always goes in between any loose running dogs and me, as she knows my reflexes are not up to snuff with dogs. She is there to cut up my meat, give me massages, take me to my doctor appointments and the list goes on; all on top of doing her regular activities she always had, such as work. She has exemplified the definition of a good mate from 1Corinthians. Now I’m not saying there aren’t other mates out there who would do the same thing. All I’m saying is that I have one of them. It is fitting that with my Lou Gehrig’s disease that I quote Gehrig with his famous last words to his New York Yankee faithful; “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
Thursday, 27 October 2011
I have been mad about something for a while now and yesterday and today I became really mad about it. I don’t get mad that easily, but when I do, I find that everything makes me mad. Things that don’t normally bother me, all of a sudden drive me crazy. This morning as I was stewing in my madness and growing more and more agitated, I was very tempted to start thinking about how mad I should be about Mike’s illness. I was very close to allowing myself to think about how maddening it is and how mad I could be! I knew if I let myself get mad about the ALS, I would go to a place it would be hard to come back from. The madness could very well turn to sadness and then it would be game over.
A few months ago, I watched a really sad movie. It was so sad I cried about it for hours and then the tears I cried about the movie turned into tears for Mike and I cried for about three days.
This morning while standing on the edge of a very slippery slope, I was reminded of Philippians 4:8, which says: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
A re-directing of my thoughts needed to take place. I had to loosen my grip on this life and its strife and grab hold of God and think about things that are good, lovely, excellent and praiseworthy. While writing this blog on my lap top in my living room, I looked out the window and saw my son, Nathan and Mike walking home from the park pushing our granddaughter, Leah in her stroller. When they came in, Mike proceeded to take chestnuts out of his jacket pocket…one by one. It took him some time to take all 22 chestnuts out of his pockets and place them on the dining room table. I asked him how the park was and he said they didn’t stay at the park for long, but went to the chestnut tree (a tree we visited many times with our children when they were small…just a little ways down the street from the park). I could see that Mike had a lovely time with his son and granddaughter and it made me happy.
As I continued to type on my lap top, Mike asked, “What are you writing there?” I said, “Just some thoughts.” He said, “Do they bring you joy?” I replied with a very firm “YES!”
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
Today Mike said to me that there was a positive side to taking so many pills…he gets the recommended eight glasses of water a day. The guy always looks on the bright side. When the big 'horse' pill goes down sideways and he gags it back up, he says he’s fine and tries again. He never complains.
Mike’s glass is always half full. He is a positive person. When he was diagnosed with ALS on March 7th, he remained pretty hopeful that he had been misdiagnosed. When the doctor recommended that he stop working and go on long term disability, he said he could use some time off. When his right hand continued to weaken, he said, “It’s a good thing, I’m left handed.” When he was unable to run anymore, he was glad he could go for walks. When he gave up the walks, he was thankful he could still ride his bike. When he fell off his bike and landed on his face (again) and broke his nose, he said that the accident taught him to be more careful and perhaps it would prevent a worse accident down the road.
I was attracted to Mike’s positive attitude right away, and it’s a quality that has blessed me throughout our 23 years of marriage. Time and time again, Mike has helped me to put things in perspective and keep my chin up. On Mach 10th, only three days after Mike was first diagnosed, I couldn’t sleep, so I sat in bed and read. Mike woke up and asked if he could pray for me. He thanked God for choosing me for him, and asked the Lord to make my burdens light (a prayer he continues to pray for me every day). He went on to say that he was thankful for everything, even the things he doesn’t want. He prayed that he would learn what he is supposed to learn from the very humbling experience of being diagnosed with ALS. He said that the “humbling experience” will cause him to rely more on God.
Never try to live your life with God in any other way than His way. And His way means absolute devotion to Him. Showing no concern for the uncertainties that lie ahead is the secret of walking with Him. Oswald Chambers
(Today, Mike's face is completely healed - you would never know he broke his nose less than two weeks ago)
Saturday, 22 October 2011
I received a phone message from my mom the other day. The message started with her singing one of her favourite songs by Stevie Wonder…”I just called to say I love you, I just called to say I care, I just called to say I love you…and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.” She went on to say, “If you need anything, just let me know.” And she signed off with her signature goodbye; “Chow” (really spelled “ciao”).
My mom’s name is Sheila and Mike’s mom just so happens to be Sheila as well. Our moms having the same name might not be that unusual, but here’s what’s unusual; our dads have the same name too (George). Having parents with the same names made it easy for us to name our children; Erin Sheila, Nathaniel George and Madison Sheila. In private, Mike tells his parents we named the kids after them and privately he tells my parents we named the kids after them. He is just trying to keep both inheritances in order.
Anyway, hearing my Sheila sing made me smile. Hearing her voice and her reminder “If you need anything, I am here for you,” brings so much comfort. Hearing Mike’s Sheila’s voice makes me smile too. She has a lovely Scottish accent that makes me want to listen…even to stories I have heard many times. I could sit and listen to her and her sister, Aileen reminisce for hours, recalling childhood memories growing up with their big brothers in Scotland and then immigrating to Canada in 1948.
When I call my parent’s house and my George picks up, it’s “HI DEE, how are you Dee?” He has called me Dee all my life. He doesn’t want to chat like my mom does, but he takes the time to make me feel like he really cares. As soon as he hears I am well and that I am happy, he says, “Okay, here is your mom. Let me know if you need anything.” I was told that when my mom was pregnant with my sister, my dad really wanted a boy. After having a baby girl and falling hear over heals for her, he wanted another girl when my mom was pregnant with me. I have always felt incredibly loved.
Mike’s George is the same as my George. He doesn’t want to talk all day, he simply wants to hear Mike’s voice…to know that Mike is okay and that he and his family are doing well. He is tough on the outside, but on the inside he is tender and soft hearted. He doesn’t say a lot, but you know he is there and you know he cares so much.
Our Sheilas still feed us and clothe us and slip us cash. Our Georges won’t let us pay for anything and would sooner die than see us suffer in any way. The Georges and Sheilas of our lives support us, care for us, love us, encourage us and treat us like gold. We feel blessed beyond measure!
Telling our parents about Mike’s diagnosis was harder than hearing it ourselves. We knew it would devastate them and that it did. But their strength inspires us and they continue to muster up the courage to walk with us through the toughest times of our lives. We love them and thank God for them every day!
Our Sheilas at the ALS Walk in Coquitlam, B.C. in August
My George and Sheila with Mike and his sister Aileen w/ Leah at the ALS Walk in Abbotsford in April
Mike's sister Pat, Mike's Sheila and George, Erin and my Sheila - ALS Walk Coquitlam/August